“Don’t Overthink It!”: Helping an Anxious Swimmer
In Florida, drowning kills enough children each year to fill 3-4 preschool classrooms! This alone should be a reason to teach your child to swim at a young age and to educate yourself about the risks of drowning. Yes, your child will probably experience anxiety when learning to swim. Your child will probably experience anxiety when learning other new things, too. This is normal. Here is what you can do to help both them and you through the process:
1. Remember that anxiety is normal. Anxiety can play a healthy role in our lives. It can make us alert, it can motivate us to get things done, it can help us avoid unsafe situations, etc. If your child is experiencing separation anxiety, it means you’ve created a strong, special bond with them. However, excessive anxiety can also present certain challenges. The good news is there is a way to keep it in check and even help swimmers develop the ability to cope with anxiety and other challenges in life.
2. Do not be afraid to challenge your anxious child. Research suggests that challenging children in a way that “playfully encourages the child…to go outside his/her comfort zone” may help reduce the risk of developing future anxiety (Moller et al., 2015; Bogels and Perotti 2010). For example, at AquaChamps, we use toys, songs, and games to introduce challenging new skills like big jumps. We challenge them because getting kids to experience challenging situations can help them build healthy coping skills and emotional resilience. Dr. Wendy Swanson even recommends practicing in your own time to help reduce separation anxiety. For example, you can send your child “off to grandma’s home, schedule playdates, allow friends and family to provide childcare for you (even for an hour) on the weekend.”
3. Avoid negative thoughts. It’s just swimming. Do not overthink it. Negative thoughts can promote anxiety. To avoid them, do not talk about the lesson hours beforehand. Sometimes parents mention swim lessons to anxious swimmers first thing in the morning thinking that it will help them when it often gives their children more than enough time to engage in negative thought patterns associated with swimming. The more a child does this, the more challenging it can be to get them to overcome their anxieties.
4. Do not arrive too early. We recommend arriving with just enough time to get settled and into the pool. Hanging out too long and extended exchanges between you, your child, and their coach can make anxiety worse and the transition more difficult than it needs to be. Keep your separation routine quick, consistent, and positive. Do not linger!
5. “Fake it ‘til you make it!” Positive self-talk has been shown to help improve anxiety symptoms (Luo and McAloon, 2020) whereas negative self-talk makes it worse, (which is one reason why rumination can be so unhelpful). Get your child to say, “I got this,” or “I did it!” This helps them in a more positive and empowering way even if they do not believe what they are saying at first. You may even hear some of our coaches getting their students to say positive statements like “I love swimming!” Positive body language helps, too. Body language like walking tall with an open posture can decrease anxiety symptoms (Kasap and Tanhan, 2019; Ustuk and Aydin, 2018). Therefore, one other way kids can fake it ‘til they make it is by walking on their own two feet to class instead of being carried there. Research also suggests that children take nonverbal cues from their parents and that parents who behave anxiously can promote anxiety in their children. Therefore, many parents also need to fake it ‘til they make it. Act confident, even when you’re not. Remember that 99% of parenting is faking it!
We know that it is easier said than done, but science and decades of experience in this industry all suggest that consistently applying these strategies helps! Don’t forget that we are all a team, and we are here to help.
Related posts:
Parenting: The Masterclass in Letting Go
Parenting a Successful Athlete
The Home Swimmer and the Swim School Swimmer
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