Parenting: The Masterclass in Letting Go
In the September issue of “British Vogue, Duchess of Sussex Meghan Markle interviewed Michelle Obama; we found her remarks and insight on parenting to be enlightening. We wanted to share a portion of the interview with you. The following is an excerpt of First Lady Michelle Obama’s remark on raising her daughters:
“Being a mother has been a masterclass in letting go. Try as we might, there’s only so much we can control,” Michelle started, when asked what she learned from motherhood. “And, boy, have I tried—especially at first. As mothers, we just don’t want anything or anyone to hurt our babies. But life has other plans. Bruised knees, bumpy roads and broken hearts are part of the deal. What’s both humbled and heartened me is seeing the resiliency of my daughters. In some ways, Malia and Sasha couldn’t be more different. One speaks freely and often, one opens up on her own terms. One shares her innermost feelings, the other is content to let you figure it out. Neither approach is better or worse, because they’ve both grown into smart, compassionate and independent young women, fully capable of paving their own paths.”
“Motherhood has taught me that, most of the time, my job is to give them the space to explore and develop into the people they want to be,” Michelle continued. “Not who I want them to be or who I wish I was at that age, but who they are, deep inside. Motherhood has also taught me that my job is not to bulldoze a path for them in an effort to eliminate all possible adversity. But instead, I need to be a safe and consistent place for them to land when they inevitably fail; and to show them, again and again, how to get up on their own.”
The advice she gives Sasha and Malia is “don’t just check the boxes you think you’re supposed to check, like I did when I was their age. I tell them that I hope they’ll keep trying on new experiences until they find what feels right. And what felt right yesterday might not necessarily feel right today. That’s okay—it’s good, even. When I was in college, I thought I wanted to be a lawyer because it sounded like a job for good, respectable people. It took me a few years to listen to my intuition and find a path that fit better for who I was, inside and out.”
At AquaChamps, we start early on allowing your swimmer to explore their independency in the water, to make mistakes and learn consequences from them. It will always be our goal to be a part of your swimmer’s team to help them overcome the bumps in the road both in and out of the water. We are often the first ones to work with you on letting your swimmer go by releasing them to the wall, doing independent jumps or just playing on the steps.
As a parent, it is hard to let go and watch your child fall or make mistakes but remember that resilience is a muscle that can either be strengthened and built or allowed to weaken or never develop. We are with you to strengthen your foundation as you start on your masterclass journey in letting go.
Related posts:
“Don’t Overthink It!”: Helping an Anxious Swimmer
“Access to Success is Thru the Mind!”: Our AquaChamps Philosophy
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